Friends for a Season

"Some friends come and go like a season. Others are arranged in our lives for good reason." 
---Sharita Gadison


If you know me well at all you know that I value my friendships and don't tend to let go easily.  As I am growing this is becoming a struggle for me. Just a tad more background on me....I am incredibly shy and absolutely hate strangers.  Even a grown up I still say stranger danger!  It's an ongoing struggle to find the balance.  I am getting better, but its taken my life thus far to get there. When you first meet me you could say I'm the b word because I just don't talk a lot. I have a guard the size of the Great Wall, but when it comes down it comes completely down.  I have come to the decision there needs to be some balance there too.

So back to the point...Last week I was talking to Miss M (she is my very valued sounding board and I am not quite sure what I would do without her) and she told me I do a horrible job guarding my heart.  Truthfully I can't say I disagree one bit.  I let people come and go in my life much more than I'd like to.  As I've been digesting this conversation and figuring out what is next I came across a huge road block.  I have friends who I have greatly impacted where I am in life today and have been there for a lot of the bad stuff. I would have never thought I'd say I think these friendships might have only been for a season.  It was a long season, but I see our lives going in very different directions.  I by no means wish bad or ill will on them.  (very rarely do I ever do such a thing and usually say I take it back right after I say it). My struggle with this friendships is finding a balance between guarding my heart and being a light to them.  They all know the Lord (in a not planned way almost all of my closest friends are believers and I am so incredibly blessed by that) but we are in different places in our walks.  I fell away when I was in high school until just recently.  I spent about four years living in the world and now I am in a vulnerable place and need more encouragement than I'd like to admit.  Don't get me wrong I don't think being a believer means you hide in a box from the world.  I do believe you have to know your struggles and to know how to best guard and protect yourself.  I know that my struggle may not be the same as someone else's and theirs may not be mine.  I am not judging people based on their struggles and I would hope they would not judge me, but that we could help guide and support each other.

This brings me back to where I stand in these friendships.  I will always love and support people I have grown close to (you can ask around, I can do it a little too much).  Do I think they are for a season?  If I am being truthful I have to say maybe or at least at this point it maybe a dry season.  All I know is I can continue to love, pray and support them, but I may have to do it at a distance. I have been continually supported by my fellow believers to know that it is in his hands.  And as much as it is sad for me to see friendships this way I know there is a bigger plan and He will take care of it.


"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everyhwere." 
---Tim McGraw