I do?

I have been having an internal battle for the last couple weeks and my best friend's wedding a few months ago solidified my feelings. It was such a privileged to be a part of their big day. I have watched their relationship blossom into what is now a marriage.  I could not pick someone better suited for my best friend.

In the last few weeks I have watched people start new relationships that have become hot and heavy pretty quick.  I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, but for me it is not what I want. I have been in relationships where there has been talk of marriage and as I get older it has become something I do with caution. I believe marriage is a once in a lifetime thing (with rare exceptions). My intention is getting married is to only get married once. It seems now days that marriage is not taken seriously enough. God's plan for marriage is very different than what society tells us it is. I have developed a (probably unhealthy) fear of marriage. I think a fear of marriage to an extent is a good thing.  I think marriage is a serious and wonderful blessing from God.  People all too quickly think if this doesn't work I can always get a divorce. That is not an option to me.  If I make a promise to someone I keep it. I also believe if you love someone enough to marry them, you find someone to make it work. I would move mountains to save my marriage. I know there are many people who think that counselling is a bad thing. I, however, do not, as I have had to go myself. I think God blesses us with people to advise us (whether it be in the bible, friends or outside council). I know that God has a plan and will look out for you. It is not in his plan to fail, but to know when something is bigger than ourselves and when we need help.  A pastor at our church reminds us that our kids are not our own, but his. I think that this is somewhat true for marriage too. God does not want to see us fail, but to see us trust in him. I will not go into marriage blindly. I know it will be hard and something that requires constant work from both parties, but i think keeping a marriage alive is doable.

My grandparents have been married over 50 years, my aunt and uncle have been married over 30 years and my parents over 25 years. In today's society 25 years is an eternity. I hate to break it to you, but it really isn't. I know they have all had their struggles, but in the end they have found a way to keep their marriage alive and are all happily married right now.

A friend and i were talking about being married for 50 years and how great it will be to grow old with someone. I look forward to having someone by my side for the rest of my life.