A Nightmare Come True

Sunday evening, just three weeks before my wedding, I received an email that the venue was being foreclosed upon. I was in complete shock and then broke down sobbing. My perfect fairy tale day wasn’t going to be what I had dreamed. (which lately has been nightmares, so there is a silver lining) It has been a rough and quite emotional few days for me. My parents and Brandon have been great through the whole thing. Letting me cry, be upset, mad, disappointed. Whatever I need to feel they let me and have helped call places and anything else they can do. This morning an article was posted online and our vendors now know and are trying to help. I feel so blessed that the wedding community here wants to help those in my situation. Our amazing photographers emailed me to check on me and to give me possible solutions. 

While we are looking into these options I please ask you be respectful.  I go from cry to wanting to kill someone the next second. This is a completely awful and stressful thing that has happened.  For those of you attending the wedding, right now we have no answers. I am sorry we don’t but it has been a rocky few days looking into our options. I just ask that you please refrain from asking questions. It is a delicate situation and one I don’t really want to talk about. I had my perfect day planned out to a tee and just not that much longer until I got to see the whole thing come together. Well we are having to start over and the next few days are going to be consumed with meetings and talking through what is the best option to move forward with.

I know it is just one day and it won’t matter in the end. I get to marry Brandon and that is all that matters. But I have spent the past 3 and a half months making every center piece, mantel decoration, etc. Everything coming into our unknown venue has been approved if not made by me. So it is heart wrenching to know some of those things may have to change.  I know it will all come together and be a wonderful day.

While we do appreciate the concern, love and support…right now I don’t have it in me to talk about it. It is not to be offensive to you, but to save the silver of sanity that is rapidly leaving me. I was completely sucker punched; had a bomb dropped on me…whatever you want to call it…it sucks. Please refrain from calling for the next week or so…I wish I could turn my phone off, but sadly it is also my way of contacting new venues, my parents and Brandon. I just please, please ask that all of you can help save my sanity. I know people have asked what they can do to help, but right now I just need some peace and quiet. Every time someone brings it up, I cry…I don’t have time to cry. J So what you can do to help us in the meantime is be respectful that these next few days are going to be complete craziness for my family. I will get answers to all of you as soon as I have them…and for those of you who know I am a control freak know it will be soon. :)

Thank you everyone! We love and appreciate everything you do for us.

The Bad and The Good

I know to some this may sound trivial, but it’s been bothering me and I need to get it off my chest.  This weekend was my bachelorette party and bridal shower. They were both beautiful and exactly what I had hoped for, for the most part. Some of the guests’ behavior was kind of offensive. I actually felt left out and these are the few things that can actually be about you. I was not impressed at all and felt bad for others who may not have known other people. I was completely shocked that people that are such a big part of my life could behave in such ways. But I guess you really never know people.

There is a silver lining…we are incredible blessed to have such sweet friends and family that got us gifts that we can take with us on the move and use for the next long time. I am so excited about our kitchen gadgets and bathroom stuff (that’s about all we registered for). My mom surprised me with something old, something new; something borrowed, something blue and six pence for my shoe. It was by far my favorite gift and such a sweet surprise! I can’t wait to wear the stuff from my mom and use all of our other things!!! Woohoo! Thanks for all of those who came to show their support. It means the world to us.

Wedding bliss/stress

I am sitting here watching videos from out cinematographer and am about to cry. I had a meeting at the venue last night and realize how many more little details there are to plan. I am feeling a tad bit stressed, but also incredibly blessed.

In the past few days I found out that my great aunts and uncles are coming to the wedding and everytime I cry. Even when I think about it I cry. I feel so loved and lucky. I couldn't ask for a better gift or family. Even through the ups and downs I know it will be perfect.

I am completely my parent's child (a perfectionist and detail oriented). We don't do things unless we can do them right. As stressed out as I am, watching those videos I know our wedding will be perfect. Regardless of what does or does not get done it will be perfect! We are so blessed to be so loved and fortunate to have so many people there to support us on our big day! Now its just getting there :)

Updated Nanny Diaries

Looking back I wish I would have wrote more Nanny Diaries to look back on. I am getting so sad to leave my munchkins. Today was not our most eventful day, but definitely entertaining and truthfully one of the reasons I can't wait to have kids. On the way home from karate Miss P asked for gum so I gave her some. She decided she was done, but guess what little lady, we are on the freeway so that means chew it or hold it.  Well Mr H decided he would chew it (nothing like brotherly/sisterly love). Guess what folks, that was short lived and Mr. H was done and wanting to put it on the floor of mom's new car. I put the kibosh on that real quick. But then he tried for the center console. I told him hold it or chew it and he could throw it out when we stopped moving. Well he decides to hold it in his hair. Hahaha yes you heard me right. Smeared deep in his hair. Miss P told me that his gum was in his hair. So I tell him we are going to have to cut that hair out and then shave his head. I know I am a great nanny. Well we get home and I tell his mom and we continue to laugh. He instantly comes in looking for scissors. After ice and a good amount of peanut butter he is gum free and still has all of his hair!!!
It's days like these that I realize how much I will miss them and can't wait to have my own.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

I know many people love being in this place (hahaha)!!!!  So the joys of planning a wedding have completely gone out the window. We are having issues with some people who are supposed to be close friends. I am feeling completely stuck right now (damned if I do, damned if I don't)  I am stuck in a place someone very selfish has now put me in. I have to choose between something I so strongly believe in and honestly don't want to back down on and hoping B doesn't regret me later for it or throwing what I believe out the window. I am at a loss of what to do. It makes me sad that a person who is supposed to be a big role in my love's life is choosing not to be there. It is an impossibly hard decision to make. And normally I wouldn't hesitate to stick to my guns, but the idea of having him resent me is killing me inside. :/ hoping one side becomes softer.

Control Freak

I will openly admit I am a control freak. I think it is part genetic and part learn. In all of the wedding planning I am realizing how bad it truly is. However, it has been such a blessing to literally have no idea what is going on for my bachelorette party and shower. I know the days and I sent this lists of who to invite. That is ALL i know. It is a huge struggle for me, but it has also been incredibly fun because I don't have to stress about it! So for today I am going to try not to control too much and enjoy what everyone keeps telling me will be the best time of my life! I just love being reminded of how truly blessed I am! :)

Venting

In the past few days I have been feeling slightly frustrated. I know there are people who don't support me getting married. I think that everyone is entitled to their opinion  but when it comes to my relationship with the love of my life they don't know what happens. There are two people in a relationship and only they know what it is about. I very much appreciate the concern, but I also don't appreciate people doubting my decision. I get where everyone is coming from, but I need people to stop and minute and see where I am coming from.
Marriage is once in a lifetime to me. I don't jump into this lightly, but there is no doubt in my mind that this is the person I am meant to be with. Yes we have a story, that some make shake their head at. At the end of the day our past, collective and individually, is what made us the people we are today.  People who love each other unconditionally. No our relationship isn't easy (mostly just the distance). We are well past the honeymoon stage of things. While most people think we rushed this, I think it is something that has taken a long time to get there. For the past nine years we have had a mutual attraction, but it took us dating other people and growing on our own to find our way to be with each  other.
So while people on the outside can speculate all they want they don't know what our relationship is like and until you stop and ask you don't really have a valid say.
I know this isn't the most uplifting of things, but it is becoming a burden to feel like i have to make people happy with this decision. Today I talked to a dear friend and she told me I have to start with myself. I truly think if I stop worrying about making everyone else happy they will see the happiness from me. I am the one living with this decision and I can't be any happier with who I get to spend everyday for the rest of my life with. :)
Thanks for letting me vent.