Miss M

She is the reason behind this blog.  She is the friend that is my sounding board.  She is the friend that tells me what I need to hear and not what I want to hear.  This is something I know I have been talking better advantage of lately.  She is a believer who has many of the same struggles I do.  It's nice to have someone going through the trenches with you.  She constantly reminds me I tend to overreact (I wear my heart on my sleeve more than I wish I did).

This weekend I got the opportunity to meet Miss Molly for lunch, which is never just lunch. We had such great conversation.  I love being able to talk about real stuff…yes we talk about the superficial stuff too.  But it is nice to have someone I can let my walls down with.  I know she genuinely cares for me and my well being and it was so nice to be able to see her! I accidentally made her cry, but I think it was a good cry.  I got to see her become slightly more vulnerable (something that scares her).  I got to see how deeply she cares for one of her dear friends and family.  We also got to talk about the quote below. In ways we are very much the same, but in others we could not be more opposite.  It has become a nice balance and we both have so much to learn from the other.

"A true friend is someone you can disagree with and still remain friends. For if not, they weren't true friends in the first place." 

---Sandy Ratliff

I truly appreciate our friendship and know God placed you in my life for a reason.  You constantly push me to see my flaws and encourage me to better myself.  You can dig through all the junk I say and really find the true issue in it all.  I have also had the opportunity to see you grow and struggle.  I am so proud of where you are at and the path I think you are continuing on. I really can't describe in words what you mean to mean, but I will continue to express my appreciation of you in my life.  I know I am probably leaving a lot out, but you will get to know more about her as the journey of my life goes on.

These pretty much sums up our friendship.

After my college graduation.

Love Letters

I have not always had the greatest track record with boys, but I will give myself credit of not giving up.  The last few guys I have dated have been long distance.  I know a lot of people think it’s so horrible and they could never do it.  I will tell you it is not easy by any means, but not impossible either.  I used to get codependent, which did make things incredibly difficult.  Long distance helps me keep my independent crazy lifestyle and not feel bad or become too dependent.  I found that long distance works well for me IF both parties are on the same page.  It is extremely difficult when there is a lack of communication. When you are apart communication is all you have.  I have had completely different schedules than the guy I was dating, so I would write letters.  I’ve written sweet, frustrated, sad, angry, and happy letters.  I didn’t realize until a few days ago that the only person I had ever got a return letter from was a friend who was deployed in Afghanistan.  When I saw them waiting for me when I got home I was so excited! I was happy to know he was safe, but also just to know someone out there was thinking about me.  The letters weren’t crazy exciting, just about the deployment.  He is home now and out of harm’s way (as much as he can be), thank goodness.  We got to talking the other day about how he is the only guy who has ever written me a letter. He seemed to get a little upset about that.  It didn’t really faze me until today.  I ran across this website through pinterest and LOVE the idea.  I thought I would share it all with you.  More Love Letter is a site that allows people to write and receive letters.  I also wanted to give you the back story of the girl who started it all Love Twenty...her story seems not that far fetched and feelings don't seem that far fetched.

I firmly believe writing love letters is a lost art.  I am a hopeless romantic and enjoy the little things.  It’s not about how big the diamond is, but the feelings and the words behind it.  I think it says something to take 5 minutes out of your day to write down how you feel about someone, whether it be a card or a letter, but do it long hand.  We are a society so focused on social media that I sometimes feel we forget how to connect with people.  So I have to thank my friend for reminding me how important it is to take that time out for the people that matter.

Friends for a Season

"Some friends come and go like a season. Others are arranged in our lives for good reason." 
---Sharita Gadison


If you know me well at all you know that I value my friendships and don't tend to let go easily.  As I am growing this is becoming a struggle for me. Just a tad more background on me....I am incredibly shy and absolutely hate strangers.  Even a grown up I still say stranger danger!  It's an ongoing struggle to find the balance.  I am getting better, but its taken my life thus far to get there. When you first meet me you could say I'm the b word because I just don't talk a lot. I have a guard the size of the Great Wall, but when it comes down it comes completely down.  I have come to the decision there needs to be some balance there too.

So back to the point...Last week I was talking to Miss M (she is my very valued sounding board and I am not quite sure what I would do without her) and she told me I do a horrible job guarding my heart.  Truthfully I can't say I disagree one bit.  I let people come and go in my life much more than I'd like to.  As I've been digesting this conversation and figuring out what is next I came across a huge road block.  I have friends who I have greatly impacted where I am in life today and have been there for a lot of the bad stuff. I would have never thought I'd say I think these friendships might have only been for a season.  It was a long season, but I see our lives going in very different directions.  I by no means wish bad or ill will on them.  (very rarely do I ever do such a thing and usually say I take it back right after I say it). My struggle with this friendships is finding a balance between guarding my heart and being a light to them.  They all know the Lord (in a not planned way almost all of my closest friends are believers and I am so incredibly blessed by that) but we are in different places in our walks.  I fell away when I was in high school until just recently.  I spent about four years living in the world and now I am in a vulnerable place and need more encouragement than I'd like to admit.  Don't get me wrong I don't think being a believer means you hide in a box from the world.  I do believe you have to know your struggles and to know how to best guard and protect yourself.  I know that my struggle may not be the same as someone else's and theirs may not be mine.  I am not judging people based on their struggles and I would hope they would not judge me, but that we could help guide and support each other.

This brings me back to where I stand in these friendships.  I will always love and support people I have grown close to (you can ask around, I can do it a little too much).  Do I think they are for a season?  If I am being truthful I have to say maybe or at least at this point it maybe a dry season.  All I know is I can continue to love, pray and support them, but I may have to do it at a distance. I have been continually supported by my fellow believers to know that it is in his hands.  And as much as it is sad for me to see friendships this way I know there is a bigger plan and He will take care of it.


"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everyhwere." 
---Tim McGraw

Kristen

I know it is not midnight my time, but guess what it is in Michigan! 22 years ago one of my dearest friends was born.  I know our story might sound crazy to some of you.  I met my friend Kristen about a year and a half ago at the Marine birthday ball.  Both of our lives have changed drastically since that day.  We spent a total of about 4 hours (at best) together.  We haven't seen each other since, but I am desperately trying to get her to move here! For those of you who know me well, this wont shock you...after the ball we went to our separate homes and I decided to start chatting with her. Since then we are stuck like glue!  Very few days go by that we don't talk.  It's so nice to have her to vent to.  For those of you who don't have a best friend in a different state I highly recommend it. And now my love, you are on her way to being an old maid like me. :)

I value you so much and I am so glad we get to share our birthdays/half birthdays!  You have helped me through some of the hardest/saddest moments in my life.  I have also got to share the happiest/craziest moments with you. You let me vent to you and never complain.  Not a day goes by that I don't value our friendship. I'm so proud of the woman you are becoming.  I've got to watch you grow and see life change drastically and you remained strong.  You are one of the strongest people I know and you continue to become stronger.  You have encouraged me to be stronger and stick to my guns. I have got through some of the toughest times with you on the other end of the phone. I love you and value our friendship! You are about to graduate and start the next chapter of your life.  I am so happy for you and can't wait to see where your life takes you. I know it will only get better and you will understand the true depth of your strength. Happy birthday and first full day of summer!! (and almost gradation day)

Me, Sarah, and Kristen

The start of something good!

After much debating back and forth about starting a blog, today I broke down.  I am blessed to have such a wonderful, encouraging friend, that after reading a blog entry by her I was sold.  Here is her blog entry: No Boy Allowed.  I want to use this blog to not only document/share my journey with God, but also share other aspects of my crazy life. I am going to apologize now if I am not good about keeping this up to date.  I will try my hardest, but as you get a glimpse into the craziness you might be tad more understanding.

I have been completely blessed with the life I live and would like to share my journey.  I grew up in a Christian home and have lived life in all states of my walk with God.  In the last few months I have grown closer to him and have enjoyed the journey that I am on currently.  I believe He blessed me with both the good and the bad. I wholeheartedly believe that he has given me this story, these struggles, and these blessing to honor and glorify him.  Looking back at the struggles I have gone through; I am happy to see the growth.  I know I have a long way to go, but I am surrounded by beautiful woman who continue to encourage me in this walk.

Don't get me wrong, just like any other relationship I get angry with God.  I am only human and don't always like his will.  I am constantly struggling to let go of my control and let his will be done.  I don't think this is something that will go away easily, but I will continue to fight so he can take the lead.

Just a quick background of my life:

When I was six my parents up and moved our little four person family halfway across the country from our family.  I since then have made a family where I currently reside, but miss my family dearly. I attended college in the mountains of northern Arizona to earn a degree in Interior Design.  I worked in the field for just shy of a year and was constantly complaining about my job.  So about six weeks ago I left my job in the design world  to answer phones at a power company.I know it sounds so glamorous!  I decision I knew would alter my life forever and now I feel like a little kid trying to decide what will come next for me. I completely trusted in God in this decision and could not be happier.  I started nannying my kids I watched while going back to college.  (I took a whole summer off and decided back to school I go! Yes I know I am a weirdo...bare with me)  You will get to hear plenty of stories about all of them.  I am so proud of all the kids I am blessed to have in my life.  And yes like a mom I brag about them :).

Thanks for letting me share with you!

No temptation has overtake you except what is common to mankind.  And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are temped, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.  1 Corinthians 10:13