Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Nanny Diaries

I am giving a disclaimer for this post….if diapers and such freak you out you should probably stop now. 

Most days with my kiddos are completely fine, but every now and then we have a day like we did yesterday.  I can laugh about them after the fact, but in the moment I think what did I get myself into.  I’ll give you a brief description of the kids…

Mr. W is almost 3! And as stubborn as can be.  He talks up a storm and gives great kisses.
Mr. H is almost 6 and one of the most loving people I ever met.  He’s a lady’s man and can make your heart melt.
Ms. P is 8 ½ and in second grade.  She can be sweet as the dickens and so incredibly helpful or she can be your worst nightmare.

Just like everyone else they have their bad days/moments.  Usually I can roll with the punches, but yesterday was a lot to handle.

I get there and the boys are out back, but Mr. H comes in the house.  I ask where Mr. W is and Mr. H said he was outside pooping.  (Yes in the yard!)  We thought he was joking.  I saw Mr. W so I asked what he was doing and if he was pooping and of course he said no.  Then Ms. P is complaining about being starving!!!  (she ALWAYS says she is starving).   We got in a disagreement as to what is ok for a snack.  Meanwhile, Mr. W comes up and stinks!!!!! So I look in the back of his one hour old swim trunks and sure enough we’ve got skid marks.  We were off to the bathroom with clean under roos in hand. I got him all cleaned up and I was off to play with Mr. H.  I was reading him a book about how to be a gentleman, then he puts his arm around me and said I love you. He somehow started tickling my ear, which turned into tickle war and Mr. W just had to join in.  Well he STILL stunk so I look down and there are poop smears all over his legs!! Mr. H helped me clean up his little brother.  Ms. P has been yelling how she is starving and crabby like her mom (but in actuality her dad) because she is so, so hungry. Thank goodness it’s time to start dinner and we made it through without a hitch.  Little did I know it was just the calm before the storm.  I had Mr. H trying to take out the trash, but it was just too heavy and the bag ripped.  I asked him to get me a new bag (to double bag it), but he said he couldn’t because there was nowhere for the bag to go.  Finally Ms. P got me a bag and I got the trash out. When I lifted it off the ground there was a puddle, which caused the kids to flip out.  I told Mr. H to get dressed for his tee-ball game while I got the mess cleaned up.  As I am finishing up Ms. P came in yelling about Mr. H hitting her and her punching him.  (Can I tell you how much I can’t stand tattling!!). I sent them both to their rooms.  Left Mr. H in charge of dressing himself while I talked to Ms. P.  (I do NOT let Mr. W in their rooms when they are in trouble, which becomes a meltdown).  I talked to the missus and she said she threw the first punch.  I was trying to get to the bottom of the story when she stopped responding, so I left her to continue thinking about her actions.  She got mad and bossy, so I told her maybe she should act like an 8 year old (I don’t always have the best responses, but after the short hour and a half I’d like to see you do better!)  She starts to cry, so I must be on a roll, two of the three kids crying. I went in to talk to Mr. H and make sure he was getting dressed.  We had a good chat about not hitting back and how to put on baseball socks.  (not an easy task) Then I was saved by the mom!!!  But only for about 15 minutes.  Mrs. B and I had a chat about the kiddos behavior.  Ms. P wanted to go to the tee-ball game but had more homework.  She threw a royal fit about it and how she was taught to support her brother, but she wasn’t being given the opportunity to do so.  She hates to read and of course that is what she had left.  She told her mom she’d been working for hours and hours and hours.  At the end of their chat she said she was so mad she could break her tooth.  Obviously that didn’t go too far with mom or me.  So she was sent to her room to clean and read.  Mrs. B took Mr. H to the game and left me with two crying kiddos again!  I got Mr. W on track and we loaded the dishwasher! He was actually a good help and brightened my day. Ms. P started to get out of her funk and was slightly helpful after she finished her reading and cleaning. Oh and Mr. H's game went great! He hit a homer!!!!

Needless to say I ate cookies there and ice-cream when I got home. Don’t get me wrong I love those kids, but they can wear me down.  Now I can laugh about the day and think man we survived! I have little hope for my own kids being the slightest bit civilized, but I want them to enjoy being a kid while they can.  But don’t worry they will not be allowed to poop in the yard…I will draw the line somewhere

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